I have two grand ideas. At least, I think they’re grand. And they aren’t hard ideas. They don’t involve a lot of work or much effort or learning a new skill. Not to start anyway. The goal is learning and growing. But the starting? That’s probably the easy part.
And yet, I haven’t managed to get off my butt and make these things happen. I’m a procrastinator, so that’s strike 1. Despite that, I do manage to get things done. Eventually. Strike 2? These two ideas involve putting myself out there. I’m an introvert. I like my down time, my alone time, my quiet time. I guard it and protect it. My Grand Ideas involve Other People. You know, the kind you have to talk with and engage.
Post-election, I’m fighting with myself as much as I’m fighting (in my head/heart if not in person) with other people. I want something different. Doing the same old thing has led to an imbalanced man-baby leading our country. If this doesn’t shake us up, what will? Let me rephrase: if this doesn’t shake me up, what will?
Routine is comfortable. It’s safe. I like that. When one struggles with anxiety, one learns to cultivate safety. Except that I wrote a new prayer for myself for 2017, one that asks for the grace to be broken open, vulnerable. I’ve thought of my post on vulnerability quite a few times in recent weeks as I’ve pondered these Grand Ideas. One of them in particular will take me out of a comfort zone. It’s a little intimidating, but it’s not complicated. So why am I getting in my own way?
It drives me batty when I’m in a situation where things are done a certain way simply because that’s the way they’ve always been done. But here I am, doing the same thing in my day-to-day life.